One of the
tenets by which I live is that we never should stop learning, and especially we
should not stop learning about ourselves. Self-awareness, while often an
uncomfortable process, is essential to growth and to emotional well-being.
In my last post, I related how my dear friend metaphorically whacked me
upside the head, and set me to thinking on a new path. This week, while trying to decorate the house
and do a bit of holiday baking, as well as making sure all the gifts for the
kids, grandkids and others were on their merry way, I started thinking about
the whole idea of isolation versus solitude.
Most of you probably have had to
endure at least some of my carping about “numbing isolation". I carried that supposed cross around for
quite some time. Well guess what? Unless I was mysteriously sentenced to prison
without my knowledge, if it has been isolation that I was really feeling, I
have chosen to isolate myself. Well,
Duh! Not only that, come to find out there is a great deal of difference
between isolation and solitude.
Over this past weekend, I baked
cookies, made out holiday cards, and basically enjoyed myself the entire time.
I felt calm, confident, and looked forward to passing out the goodies. Wow. I
began to understand that there can be joy in solitude, that what I was
experiencing was solitude as opposed to isolation. I finally understood that if I was feeling
isolated, I could pick up the phone, send an email or otherwise contact one of
the many, many friends and family with which I am blessed.
Because of this experience,
combined with the “slap upside the head”, I am starting to realize that the
notion of a fresh start is for real: that I can do this. I can make it happen,
and so I shall. As always, I have all
you wonderful friends and family to thank for helping me through the forest of
my grief and loss. And while I know that
I will still occasionally bump into one of those metaphorical trees while I am
not paying attention, for the most part,
I can proceed with my life and make of it what I will.
To all of you, I wish to a happy
Hanukah, a Merry Christmas, a happy Kwanzaa, and a happy, healthy and lush New
Year.
MPC/12-19-2016
So good to hear.
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